


Come Back To Bed

by CrazyLabRat



Series: A Life Worth Living [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17656178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyLabRat/pseuds/CrazyLabRat
Summary: I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, even as I leaned back into the soft and inviting mattress.I haven't slept in days.I don't recall how many it's been exactly, but I know it's been more than two. And it'd been so frigid, out there in the snow.But now it was warm, and I was in the safest possible place to be.The only thing missing is Iruka.





	Come Back To Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I will be checking all of the comments I've been receiving and replying to them starting tomorrow morning!
> 
> I'm very sorry for the delay!
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love I've been receiving of late... I'm astounded and pleased to see that Mating Season has been read so many times since I've updated! It's hit 3k!
> 
> This is part of a series I mentioned before, and am finally creating and adding to it. Just For... is the first part, but there won't be any order to the series. Just snippets of important moments in their lives together in that particular verse. 
> 
> If you like it, do be so kind as to let me know!
> 
> Now then, on with the story!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

_**Still is the life** _  
_**Of your room when you're not inside** _

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, even as I leaned back into the soft and inviting mattress. 

I haven't slept in days. 

I don't recall how many it's been exactly, but I know it's been more than two. And it'd been so frigid, out there in the snow.  

But now it was warm, and I was in the safest possible place to be. 

The only thing missing is Iruka. 

_**And all of your things** _  
_**Tell the sweetest storyline** _

The pictures on the wall by the bedroom door showed so many happy faces. 

So many precious moments memorialized there. 

My face, well... my masked face, was in many of them. And it really was a blessing. 

Pictures of us, together... with Naruto, with Gai, with Kurenai... and some were just us two. Private happy moments. 

A couple of them also showed the ones we've lost, but will never stop loving.

Asuma, with his roguish grin, a bent cigarette burning on the edge of his lips. Leaning against a railing with his head tilted in my direction. My back to the camera. I remembered that day well. And I'll forever be grateful that my lover had taken this photo, despite my protests. 

The third in his office, laughing while he sipped his afternoon tea. 

Jiraiya, with his perverted grin directed towards Tsunade's back. Naruto's angry face contorted into something overly hilarious while he yelled and made to hit the man. 

There were some hand drawn pictures framed up there too. From past students who loved him enough to express it in the only way their young hearts knew how, with paper and crayon. 

Oh, but I knew how they felt. 

It was impossible not to love that man. 

I shifted and made to stand. 

Unsure of what to do. 

_**Your tears on these sheets** _  
_**And your footsteps are down the hall** _

I hate it when he cries. 

I can't stand it. 

Those eyes weren't made for shedding tears. 

That smile wasn't meant to ever dwindle. 

I clenched my hands into fists as I stared down at the empty bed, while listening to his distant movements elsewhere in the house. 

This whole evening is wrong. He should be here, in that bed, with me. 

He should be in my arms right now. 

I turned towards the door. 

Because this needed to be fixed, right this moment. 

_**So tell me what I did** _  
_**I can't find where the moment went wrong at all** _

I ran through the conversation we'd been having when this whole thing started... but I still can't figure it out. 

I can't see what it was that I said to hurt him so. To the point of tears. 

But I did. I'd hurt him. 

And that had to be rectified right now. 

He wasn't in the livingroom. 

I let my feet carry me into the kitchen. 

_**You can be mad in the morning** _  
_**I'll take back what I said** _

His back was to me, as he sat at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of freshly steaming tea. 

I didn't miss the way he'd trembled at the shoulders when I entered the room. 

The sight of which had my heart aching terribly. 

I stopped at the edge of the counter, unsure of my being welcome. 

"Iruka?"

He hummed lightly in acknowledgement, but made no move to look at me. And that, that hurt too. 

But I'd done something, said something that hurt him first. 

I had to know what... and I needed him in that bed, and in my arms where he belonged... so I pressed on. 

"I'm sorry."

His shoulders slumped, and shook more forcefully this time at my words. But I don't understand how an apology could make things even worse. 

It made no sense. 

"Love, talk to me. Was it something I said? Whatever it was, I take it back. I never meant to hurt you..."

He curled around his teacup, and I wanted nothing more then to gather him up and comfort him. To take this pain away. 

But what pain had I caused?

We'd been talking about silly things. 

He'd been laughing so prettily.

_**Just don't leave me alone here** _  
_**It's cold, baby** _

I fought a shiver, against both the temperature of the room, and the silence I faced. 

This was not a typical reaction. It was all brand new. 

We've fought over ridiculous things. Over serious things, too. But never once has he ever freezed me out. 

He's always vibrant and vocal and eloquent with describing how he feels and why. 

This quiet was terrifying. 

I took a careful step forward, and knelt down at his side, gazing up at the tight and pained expression he was trying so desperately to hide. 

His skin, when I lifted a tentative hand to cover his thigh, was like ice.

"It's so cold, you're freezing, love... Can't you just tell me what it is? Can't you talk to me?"

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Come back to bed** _

Four words, on the tip of my tongue.

But I couldn't bring myself to utter them, so they played over and over again in my mind, while I watched my beautiful companion's lips part on an exhale. 

It seemed he was about to speak, but then thought better of it and closed his lips and his eyes once more. 

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Come back to bed** _

Instead, one of his hands dropped down silently, and squeezed mine. 

I let out the breath I'd been holding, and felt some of the tension drain from my shoulders. 

He wasn't ready to speak yet, and that was fine. Because he wasn't ignoring me or shutting me out any longer. 

He just needed some time. 

_**What will this fix?** _  
_**You know you're not a quick forgive** _

"If you can't talk about it yet, that's alright. I understand. But will you at least let me hold you? I can't stand to see you so upset. I can't just... just do nothing. Please?"

And it was another long moment before anything more happened. 

While I waited, I contemplated our last fight. The last time I'd shoved my own foot in my mouth. I'd implied that he was weak, but I hadn't meant it that way. I'd only meant that I was physically stronger than him. Nothing more. 

He'd been angry for days afterwards. 

Umino Iruka can hold a grudge with the best of them. 

Those three days had been incredibly painful. 

_**And I won't sleep through this** _  
_**I survive on the breath you are finished with** _

A small squeeze to my fingers alerted me to his gaze, and pulled me from my inner musings. 

His expression was a valiant attempt at closed off, but it was quickly cracking at the edges... splintering down. 

And then he was falling onto my lap and into my arms. 

Shaking with anger, frustration, or cold... I'm not sure which. It could've been all three. 

My arms surrounded him either way, as he tucked his head into the crook of my neck, and loosed a harsh breath. 

I bent my chin to take the expelled air into my own lungs and cradled him closer. Wishing that I could kiss him, kiss this all away. Instead, I rubbed his back, and gently gathered the hair in his face up, pushing it all out of the way. 

"I know I did something, said something... I know it hurt you. And I really  _am_  sorry. It doesn't matter what it was. I just never want to do it again. Iruka, you're the reason I breathe... truly. I don't want to be the reason you're angry or in pain. Never that."

He was shaking again and clutching my clothing tightly, his damp eyes pressed against the skin of my right shoulder. 

_**You can be mad in the morning** _  
_**I'll take back what I said** _

"It matters..."

The first words he'd spoken since he'd left the bedroom. 

Just two words, and I'm the one trembling now. 

His voice was soft, no... not soft. It was weak. Like he barely had the strength to utter them. 

My heart nearly broke. 

"Won't you tell me, then? It matters, so I want to know... Tell me, what was it that I said?"

I felt warm wetness against my skin and curled even more protectively around him. Shielding him. 

But if it's me he needs protection from, then it did little to actually help. 

"You said... you  _joked_... it's not a joke. It's not funny."

_**Just don't leave me alone here** _  
_**It's cold, baby** _

I couldn't make out every word, but that was alright. It was enough to give me a clue. 

_'Oh, no. Not from laughter. I'll probably die in the most heroic way possible... If Gai doesn't accidentally kill me first.'_

It  _had_  been just a joke. 

I'd just been trying to keep that smile on his lips, keep that happy and relaxed glint in his eye. 

Gods, but I'm an  _idiot_.

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Come back to bed** _

"Oh, my dear sweet sensei... I'm sorry. I promise I didn't mean it like that."

His grasp on me tightened, as a sound that I'd never heard him make before wrenched its way free from his throat. 

It was fear, and pain, and anger all rolled into one small heartbreaking exhalation of breath. 

"You really  _did_  die once... you  _died_. It's not funny. It's  _never_  going to be funny. I don't know what I'll do if-if-"

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Come back to bed** _

"But I'm here. I came home... I'll always come home to you."

Tan arms and legs began to flail wildly as he tried desperately to pull away from me, to escape my hold... but I refused to let him go. I took an elbow to the ribs and a heel to my hip, but still I held fast. 

"Don't promise that! You can't promise me something like that! It's a promise you'll only break... you've almost broken it so many times already... and it  _hurts_ Kakashi. More and more every time. Whenever you leave, I never know if this is the time when your luck finally runs out. It's not funny. Not to me. I can't  _take_  it."

_**You can be mad in the morning** _  
_**Or the afternoon instead** _

One of those precious hands slipped into my hair and he clung to me once again. Hot droplets were falling onto my chest now, each one felt like a senbon piercing me and spearing my heart. 

"If you go, I won't be able to do this alone. I can't picture my life without you in it anymore. I can't... I just can't..."

He trailed off... unable to finish his thought, so he merely sobbed against my throat. 

I couldn't hush him, because he wasn't wrong. If I don't stop... there will come a day when I can't make it back to him. 

A day when he'll open our door and someone will hand him the official message and apology. Possibly my Hitai-ate as well. 

Perhaps it's time to consider things more seriously. 

Perhaps it's time to actually think about the future. 

Our future. 

_**But don't leave me** _  
_**98 and 6 degrees of separation from you, baby**_

I slid one arm under the bend of his knees, and the other secured him against me before I finally stood from my crouch, cradling him in my arms.

He didn't seem surprised or phased in any way.

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Come back to bed** _

I let my nose bury itself in his hair and inhaled deeply. 

He smelled of home. 

The place where my heart would always return to. 

"Then let's talk about this properly, alright? No more jokes. No more excuses."

He sobbed once more, his arms around me tightening their hold. 

"Y-you never... never talk about it. Only ever joke. But I, I can't, Kakashi. I can't do this anymore. I need you here."

_**Come back to bed** _  
_**Why don't you come back to bed?** _

I kissed his forehead and nodded solemnly.

How much pain have I been causing him?

How much fear had he endured before reaching his breaking point?

How could I not have seen it before now?

"Can we talk now then? I'll listen, I promise. No jokes. No distractions. I hear you now... I'm sorry."

**_Don't hold your love over my head_**

He sniffled, his body shivering in my arms, as he nodded his assent, just once. 

**_Don't hold your love over my head_**

"Come back to bed?"

**_Don't hold your love over my head_**

Another nod... but this time it was softer, more hesitant. 

But it was answer enough. 

**_Don't hold your love over my head_**

I carried him all the way back to our bedroom. 

Out of our kitchen. 

Past our livingroom. 

Through our hallway. 

This was our home. 

The one we'd built together. 

And as I settled us both back into our sheets, I held him close and really listened. 

**_Don't hold your love over my head_**

I'd been breaking his heart for years. 

It was only right that I should be the one to heal it again. 

We talked well into the morning. 

We talked about everything. About what he wanted and what I'd need. 

We talked about compromises, and concessions. For both of us.

We talked until we agreed. 

Until he fell asleep in my arms, exactly where he belonged. 

I didn't sleep, though. 

Not yet. 

Instead, I dressed quietly, and made my way to Hokage tower. 

It was time for a conversation with Naruto that I'd never thought I would live long enough to have. 

It's time to retire. 

My dear Iruka has waited long enough.

**_Don't hold your love_**

 

~~~~~~Owari~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> So, there you have it!
> 
> As always, I'll be hunting for errors, but as I'm only human... let me know if I miss any. 
> 
> Like it? 
> 
> Do me a favor and hit that kudos button. 
> 
> Drop me a comment, if you've got anything at all to say. 
> 
> Until next time, duckies!
> 
> ~ The Lab Rat


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